What I Wouldn't Give
by XxXxFading DreamxXxX
Summary: The Fox would not hurt them, because a Hokage will do whatever they must to protect their village... even if he is still hated. Oneshot.


What I wouldn't give to be like them… to be happy and carefree to be able to live my life knowing that as long as I improve I

AN: Hi everyone, just another oneshot… enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and sometimes I'm very glad that I don't…

Read and you will understand. Please R&R, or else…

Eternity

What I wouldn't give to be like them… to be happy and carefree to be able to live my life knowing that as long as I improve I can live another day, knowing that death is inevitable, knowing that I pain is a given but that I can get passed all of that because I have people who are precious to me, people who care for me.

What I wouldn't give to have someone… to have anyone. But all I know is the hate, the hate of the Kyuubi that is directed at me, and only me, sorry but the Kyuubi only laughs at my pain, knowing that each day I am becoming weaker, each day I am losing a little more of myself, each day my mask is cracking a little more.

What I wouldn't give to feel safe and protected… loved.

What I wouldn't give to be truly happy…

What I wouldn't give to be able to tear away my mask and have someone hold me and tell me that everything will be all right.

What I wouldn't give to be able to hate you for everything that has happened to me… tou-san, what I wouldn't give to have been able to meet you, kaa-san if you hadn't died that night… would we have been a happy family? Would you have scolded me for my pranks? Would you have let me feel safe when I was scared? Would you have taught me and encouraged me to be the best ninja I can be? Would you have approved of my nindo? What about my dream? Would you approve of my friends? My surrogate family?

Do you watch me as I struggle? Do you care about all the hardships I have been through?

Do you care that I am dying because of this curse that you sealed inside of me, tou-san?

Each day my mask is cracking, each day my resolve is breaking. Tou-san… did you expect them to love me as you would have, in their eyes all I did was kill you, I killed you and so many other people.

Did you know tou-san that the seal is breaking too? They were always afraid of this happening. Ero-Sennin is trying to find a way to fix it, but he won't be able to in time. The Kyuubi is laughing at me, I can hear his dark bark like laughter reverberating inside my head.

I wonder if the fox has figured out my plan yet? He thinks that I will let him hurt my precious people. I'm smiling tou-san because he has stopped laughing instead he is yelling at me he has finally noticed.

I hope they will forgive me…

A Hokage must be willing to do whatever it takes to protect his village, right tou-san? It's what you did. Sandaime too.

Guess my dream was never going to happen, how could it? Half the village still hates me even though I was to be Hokage within the month.

The fox is yelling again, funny he's sounding quieter than before, maybe because I don't care anymore, or maybe because it's started to work.

The Kyuubi has one weakness you see tou-san… it cannot heal poisons.

A Hokage must do whatever they can to protect their village, maybe this time I will be seen as a hero tou-san like you wanted, I doubt it.

They still hold too much hate for the Kyuubi even after so long.

Today would have been my last day anyway, ironic isn't it? Its been exactly twenty three years since you died, and I was born. I have held the Kyuubi away from the village for twenty three years, I have protected the very people who hate me the most. And now I will die for them.

A chakra presence is getting closer. Its Sakura, I wonder how she will react.

She's knocking on the door I can hear her, but only faintly, she seems to be yelling something about me being late and Kakashi was on time, well that's a shock. For eleven years Kakashi's been late and now the one day he's on time for something he's too late to realise.

I hope they understand that I have to do this, Sakura's hitting the door so hard I'm glad that I had it reinforced so that the hinges won't break, 'Crash' well I guess even that didn't work, and I was so sure that those seals would have been strong enough, after all I am a seal master who has surpassed even the legendary Yondaime, are you proud of me for that tou-san? I beat you.

Sakura is staring at me in shock. She's the best medic that has ever been, unfortunately for her I made sure to use three different poisons all of them you have to be given an antidote for within five hours at most. Too bad she didn't notice when I took them in front of her last night, all I had to do was slip them into my ramen, remember I am the number one most knuckleheaded and unpredictable ninja, how do you think I'm alive after having to wear a bright orange jumpsuit the easiest place to hide is in plain sight.

They all knew what I was planning to do, they all realised as soon as I told them about the seal weakening that I would do whatever I could to protect them.

What they didn't realise was how soon the seal would break, they didn't notice either when I started to stop using the fox's chakra they all thought it was because I was getting stronger, they didn't notice how close I was to giving in to your demands.

But a Hokage must protect his village at all costs. A Hokage is nothing without his precious people.

I smile she's crying, I made Sakura-nee-chan cry. Hina-chan and Baa-chan are going to kill me. Although with the way that the fox is tearing at the bars and the seal that hold him inside of me I think he may be the first one to try.

Tou-san, were you afraid to die?

Were you afraid to leave all of the people who loved you?

I am afraid, Kyuubi and I wherever we are going we will be stuck together for the rest of eternity, I hope that I can meet you tou-san, kaa-san.

I hope that you approve of my actions, I know that I have saved my village even if they do not know it, I know that now I will no longer have to stand the hateful glares, my mask has finally cracked, the seal is fading, Kyuubi the one who has caused all of this he is becoming weak, I allow myself to shed one tear, it travels down my cheek passing over the first whisker mark that adorns my face. By the time it has reached the third the pale lines have vanished completely, Sakura gasps and I can see why the reflection in the window is an exact copy of you tou-san although my eyes are different, they are a different shape.

The poisons that circulate my body, they are painful, one of them is attacking my chakra as well as the foxes, another is in my blood stream and the third is attacking my lungs, no amount of medic nins could save me now.

The room is getting darker, I push myself up wanting to see the sun rise outside of my window, I always like sunrise, a ninja village is rarely calm but at dawn it is quiet, there are people running towards us across the rooftops and I realise slowly that it is all of my friends, my family, I smile it is becoming harder to breathe Sakura is holding onto my hand yet I cannot feel it, she is sobbing, tears are falling onto our clenched hands.

As the others enter my room I try to speak. Tears are now freely falling down my face even as I smile. Everything that I want to say won't come out, the poisons are working faster than even I expected the Kyuubi laughs one last time.

Even in death he is spiteful, to prove to him that I am not weak I try harder, my throat and mouth are dry but I still manage to whisper.

"Thank you… G-gomen..nasai… but.. a ho..kag..e" I have to stop as coughs shake through me tearing at my already burning throat as they rip themselves through my body, "must.. do every..thing to protec..t his vill…age, and… his precious people…"

I cannot speak anymore, my body is shaking as I watch my friends stand around me most of them are crying and those that aren't… I can see the pain in their faces.

I cannot fulfil my dream but I know that no matter what my friends at least will know that I did what I could for my village, smiling I allow myself to close my eyes…

'Well Kyuubi it seems that I beat you… You can never hurt my precious people' a dark laughter was the only reply, I smile even more, it was the laughter of someone who knew that the end was coming, it was the laughter of a dead man, the laughter of someone who has been defeated… I feel my body relax and I know that whatever happens next I will never be alone again, all I have to do is wait and then my family will once more be reunited… comforted by his thoughts and memories he waited.

After all what better to do in eternity than be with your family, while you watch over your precious people.

END

Well that was kinda depressing…

You see that lil button at the bottom… the one that says go? Yep that's the one, click on it and see what happens… you will go to a place that will make me very happy if you type something there, go on I dare you… Review.


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